Monday, October 4, 2010

Autumn: Season of Transition

This morning I am preparing for surgery. Yesterday my partner and I had a chance to stop along the Mississippi River to take some photos of the incredible fall colors. Taking photos and being out in nature is one of the most meditative, spiritual experiences for me ... a chance to soak in the crisp fall air and the beauty of the vibrant colors.

Autumn is a season of transition ... it marks the end of the summer and the beginning of winter.

I found this beautiful, reflective piece of writing on a spiritual website on the internet:

"Autumn is a season of transition, reminding us that our lives are constantly in flux. Of course change is always with us, but autumn brings us to a deeper awareness that we live in a continual cycle of dying and rising. In the Benedictine tradition, one of the commitments is to conversion. Essentially it means being open to the surprise of God throughout your life and therefore open to change. It means believing that God is far bigger than anything you can ever imagine, and so there will always be more dimensions of the sacred to discover.

The autumn leaves changing colors are actually reverting to their original hue as chlorophyll is gradually blocked. As the trees begin to pull energy inward for the coming hibernation of winter, the chlorophyll in the leaves decreases and the vibrant shades we witness are the tree's true color. As autumn begins, we are called to reflect where we are being invited to surrender our masks and become more truly who we already are. With fall's energy of release, we are asked to consider the things, habits, beliefs, and attitudes that we are being called to let go of in the coming days."

How timely that I am going in today for my surgery. I have carried a lot of fear around my health issues and most recently this growing lump in my breast. As I head into surgery this afternoon I will surrender fear and I will place my trust in God.

And I found this Rilke poem on Autumn that speaks to me this morning ...

"Leaves are falling, falling as if from afar,
as if, far off in the heavens, gardens were wilting.
And as they fall, their gestures say "it's over."

In the night the heavy Earth is falling
from out of all the stars into loneliness.

We all are falling. This hand here is falling.
Just look: it is in all of us.

Yet there is one who holds this falling
with infinite tenderness in her hands."

I am grateful to be in a peaceful place this morning with minimal anxiety, if any, regarding my surgery. And much to my surprise I find that I am also not worrying about what is to come ... it will probably be a few days before the results of the pathology report come in and that's okay. I have no control over what is to be ... all I know is that I feel great today .. physically, emotionally and spiritually. I feel blessed to have so many people around me who love me and support me. I feel blessed that Mary will be taking me to the hospital this afternoon and being right by my side until I am wheeled into the operating room. I feel blessed that she will be there shortly after I wake up. I feel blessed for all my wonderful friends (and you know who you are!!) .... and for the wild dolphins who touched my soul while in Bimini this past July ... I feel your energy with me. And I feel blessed that upon my return home later this evening that I will have Ahnung, Missy, Mister and Henry ready to give me lots of love!!

I know I will not be alone in the operating room today. I know I will have the presence of God, my Papa, and the loving spirit and energy of so many who love me. And for that I am beyond grateful.


1 comment:

  1. Marilou-

    Sorry I've been a bit busy lately, but I haven't forgotten you. You'll be in my thoughts- I wish you nothing but a speedy recovery!

    Best wishes,