Thursday, January 14, 2010

Health update ....

Today was quite the health day ... for me and for my sweet girl Ahnung. Ahnung had her biopsy done to remove a couple of the lumps on her ear. She did awesome and the staff of course just fell in love with her :) The waiting begins for the pathology report. They promised to call me as soon as it comes in ... i pray it's not cancer. If it's an autoimmune disease, i'm hopeful that we can at least deal with that .... either way, I will be right by her side no matter what!

Today I also saw my gastroenterologist. I'm super grateful my partner came with me as she asked a lot of questions. Due to my most recent symptom of itchy skin (aka pruitus) my doctor seemed concern and all of a sudden a bunch of lab tests were being ordered. With my father dying from liver disease (cirrhosis of the liver, even though he never drank) he mentioned the possibility of primary biliary cirrohisis, which is an autoimmune disorder where the bile ducts in one's liver are eventually destroyed leading to cirrhosis of the liver. Apparently I have a lot of the symptoms of primary biliary cirrhosis (PBC) - fatigue, weight loss, steatorrhea (inability to digest fat), and now itchy skin. There apparently is no cure for PBC and it apparently leads to cirrhosis of the liver and end stage liver failure, however, liver transplants have been known to be successful which is a hopeful thing. My partner has already told me that if she is a match she will give me a part of her liver. So today I gave 5 vials of blood for a bunch of lab tests to check for PBC as well as my liver functioning. He also believes there's something going on with my pancreas as my body is not producing the necessary digestive enzymes to digest fats. I've started on pancreatic enzymes and he has also put an order in for me to have an endoscopic ultrasound where they will be able to take a close look at my pancreas, gall bladder, liver and ducts. With this procedure he said they will be able to see if there are any small tumors (i guess to rule out cancer, hopefully!) or any problems with my ducts. He said it won't answer the question of my pancreas not producing sufficient enzymes, however, if my symptoms subside with the enzymes I am now taking then it will indicate that there is obviously a problem with my pancreas! For the endoscopic ultrasound he said I will have conscious sedation and an anesthesiologist will be present ... he said it will be more involved than the endoscopy i've had before and it will take longer as they will be going much deeper. What I want to know is if i'll get another pair of those cute Bear Paws socks like I did during my last lumpectomy!

I continue to feel Papa's presence with me. I especially felt it today when the words "primary biliary cirrhosis" came out of my doctor's mouth. I certainly appear to have many of the symptoms. Who knows if that's what i have ... the itchy skin in conjunction with my other symptoms is concern that bile salts are in my blood stream. Yes ... my body is trying to tell me something. Yes ... Ahnung's body is trying to tell us something. And YES, I believe Papa is trying to communicate with me.

For now .... I will try to remain present and to not worry, about my own health or about Ahnung's. I am doing everything I possibly can ... that's all I can do. The rest ... and the journey I need to take ... I believe isn't up to me. Faith. I trust the journey ahead is the journey I am meant to be on, whatever that may be.


  1. I will accept this state of Marilous and Ahnungs health. I will be the space for it to flow through me and into the universe, where it can dissipate.
    I will not worry about the future as I cannot predict what will come. I will make friends with the present so as to serve the best I can right now.
    I will choose to send love to my dear friend Marilou and to the ever amazing Ahnung....even if she steals my blackberry ;)

  2. Danielle/auntie Danielle,

    thank you for your prayer. We love you.

    Marilou & Ahnung

    p.s. Ahnung says to watch your blackberry because she enjoyed stealing it from you and is looking forward to doing it again!

  3. Marilou, although it's probably very scary, at least knowing the problem helps them figure out a way to fix it :)

    And if nothing else, the drugs for "conscious sedation" are pretty fun - remind me to tell you the story of me post-procedure sitting in a doctor's office singing the oompa loompa song...loudly.

    Gracie and I are keeping you and 'nung in our thoughts!!

  4. Marilou, you are simply amazing! What a wonderful gift to have someone who loves you so much to be by your side as you experience this stressful time! While I cannot ever understand what you are going through, my husband and I went through some medical issues and I remember feeling so love to know that he would do whatever it took to help me. It sounds like your partner is willing to do the same. Thank you for posts, they help me to realize how blessed I am and how fortunate I am to have meet you. You are an inspiration. Hang in there girl, I know it is much easier said than done, but things are going to be o.k.

  5. Marilou you and Ahnung will come out of these temporary conditions just fine. You both have so much more good to do in the world. Thanks Mary for being there for them. LLL