Ahnung means "star" in ojibway. I named her Ahnung so she would always carry with her, with pride, her roots. Maybe because I will always carry with me my roots of being Thai ... the first part of my last name "Chan" meaning "moon" in Thai. My entire last name meaning moon rays. At times of darkness, I imagine myself as the moon and Ahnung, my north star, lighting up the skies and wrapping me in her light until the sun rises again.
Tomorrow I take her in for her biopsy. It will be 7 - 10 days before I will know what is going on with her. Tomorrow I also have my appointment with my gastroenterologist to discuss next steps with my own health issues. Ahnung and I are walking parallel paths. We are connected. I know that. I feel that. I feel my Papa alongside of us. I must trust that the journey we are on is the journey we are meant to be on ... whatever that may be.
Our loved ones -those still with us and those who have left us - those two-legged and four-legged - are always with us ... all the time.
All the Time
by William Stafford
Evenings, after others go inside,
my glance quietly ascends through leaves,
through branches. The night wind sighs once
and bends over. Far beyond my glimpse of sky
those friends now gone begin their chorus.
There's a reason for whatever comes,
their song says. Released into light one star
appears, another, and those patterns affirm
where they have been waiting dissolved in blue
but holding their place inside of time.
Every evening this happens, an arch and promise
renewed. Nobody has to notice: a breath
crosses the lawn, or outside the window
a spirit roams, as mysterious as any wanderer
ever was. And it is only the night wind.
Photo of night sky borrowed from Flickr.