My cardiologist gave me clearance for surgery next Monday. I go in for a lumpectomy. There's a fairly substantial sized lump in a new area of my left breast. My surgeon told me last Wednesday that it needs to be removed and sent to pathology.
Meanwhile the followup pathology report came back for my dog ahnung regarding her breast cancer. I spoke to Ahnung's oncologist and he says it would be reasonable to simply monitor her closely. The pathology report says the margins from the excision were anywhere from 3 mm to 8 mm (not ideal according to the oncologist but acceptable) and the cancer was graded based on two different scales ... one indicates it's a low grade (grade I) cancer, the other indicates it's a moderate grade cancer (grade II) ... "60% of dogs with grade I disease had local recurrence or metastasis within two years of initial excision." He recommends having her checked by a vet every 6 - 8 weeks for the next year to closely monitor another tumor/mass growing in one of her mammary glands. My sweet girl is amazing though ... she had this huge incision on her belly with staples in her for almost 2 weeks and it didn't even phase her. One would never even know that she has cancer ... she's a survivor and has the ability to defy all odds. I watch her live and cherish each moment.
As I sat in my cardiologist's office today and he tells me that i'm once again having irregular heart beats I feel this heaviness come over me. There's a part of me that's tired of all these health challenges. For the past two years it seems like it's been one thing after another with no reprieve. I go in on Monday for a lumpectomy and will then have a week of having to wait anxiously for the results of the pathology report. And now only 2 months after my heart procedure it appears the electrical problems in my heart are back again and there's a good chance I will have to go through another heart procedure. Part of me wishes I could trade my body in for a newer model :)
But then I remember how two weeks ago I was consumed with worry over my sweet Ahnung ... I received the greatest gift of a cancer diagnosis with her that at least gives me hope and gives me more time with her. She's not stressing ... if only I could be more like her :)
If only I could live and experience life through the eyes and spirit of my north star, Ahnung :)