Sunday, July 11, 2010

What is a voice?

Last night I finished a book by Anne Lamott, "Rosie." On one of my business trips to Missouri I heard her being interviewed on NPR as she was traveling the country to promote her latest book "Imperfect Birds."  Something about her resonated with me. I had never read any of her novels and decided to start with Rosie. What a great book! In many ways I relate to the character of Rosie ... she lost her father at the age of four, was sexually molested at the age of 9 and had a mother who was an alcoholic ... granted for me, I became the alcoholic. Since my father died I think i'm been trying to find my voice ... my place. As a kid I looked outside to try to find comfort. Comfort never came. So I escaped into my own little world. I continue to search for my voice -- the voice of the 4 year old; the voice of the child molested and asked to keep a secret; the voice of a teenager crying desperately for help; the voice of a young woman scared, all alone, wanting to end it all; the voice of a woman who eventually found strands of strength and courage in meditation, spirituality, writing, animals ... today, I continue to find my voice and to make meaning of my life and the world around me.

"I do not at all understand the mystery of grace - only that it meets us where we are but does not leave us where it found us." ~ Anne Lamott, from Traveling Mercies.

"When we find our voice, and when we hone in and when we sing it, it puts us in touch with our human spirit in a way that almost nothing else can." ~ Anne Lamott.

and as I find my voice, I find that I want my voice to stand for something and to make a difference, in my life and in the life of other beings ...

what is a voice
if it does not
raise against injustice?

what is a voice
if it does not
sing for change?

what is a voice
if it does not
speak for those who cannot?

what is a voice
if it refrains from
forming the hearts vision?

what is a voice
if it merely
mimic the machination of culture?

a stilled voice is a
dried reed,
lost toy,
torn page ...
a broken feather
floating down an
emptied canyon.

what is a voice
if it remains silent
against leagues of tyranny?

~ Mary Ann Radmacher

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