Day 5 up north in Ely for me. I was drawn back to the wolf center again yesterday and spent many hours there, simply sitting, observing, photographing. Words can't describe what it was like to sit quietly next to them, with a thin pane of glass separating us. As the crowd left from the "Wolf Pup 101" talk ...
... I remained there ... mesmerized by the eyes of these wolves. Hours later as I got up to leave (a coughing spell hit me), Grizzer (one of the gray wolves) who had been sleeping on the rock got up and followed me -- walking along the perimeter, a thin pane of glass separating us. I stopped as I turned the corner. Is he really following me? He looked right at me, and as I sat down on the ledge against the glass, he laid back down on the grass. Spending hours with Grizzer has been a gift.. as if God threw down a ladder, and gave me the chance to climb up to heaven and spend a few precious hours with my sweet girl Shen. Shen means "spirit". I rescued Shen when she was 9 mths old - an awkward looking girl whom noone wanted. As she got older, she would howl like a wolf. I always wondered who she was calling out to. Losing her to cancer in September '06 was like losing a part of my soul. Through the pain, I found my way to Pet Haven, and to Missy (our beloved lab/pit/rottie mix). Shen has been my guide for many years, appearing in my dreams when i most needed it. She continues to bless me with her presence, every day through Missy... and now in Ely, through the wolves.
I've needed this time to be away. How easy it is to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of life.
Something is shifting in my world... letters are landing on a blank page of a new chapter in my life. With the help of my animal guides, these letters will morph into words, words in sentences, sentences into paragraphs, and paragraphs will emerge into pages. The pages will flip .. some intentional as i turn the page, others will turn in response to nature .. to the wind and its ever-shifting direction. A sense of direction? maybe, maybe not. Trust. Faith.
What a wonderful feeling to know that I can write the book of my life. I can shape it, and I can create it... the beautiful thing is, nothing is permanent. I have come to embrace the Buddhist thinking of impermanence. Now ... to fully embrace letting go. And now, to pick up the pen.