The wisdom of Ahnung

Air mattress set up so I could sleep by Ahnung

It’s been amazing to witness the wisdom of Ahnung. She slept hard last night (we woke up a couple times so I could give her meds). It was music to my ears to hear her breathe and snore. We will have another slumber party tonight … amazing how well I slept on the air mattress. I guess it’s because I was near my girl.  Ahnung has been intentional about how much she moves. It’s as if she knows she needs to rest to let her body heal. She’s been sleeping on her Martha Stewart bed in the kitchen .. close access to food, to the back door and a prime spot to see all that’s happening. She normally rotates beds in the house so the fact she is only sleeping on the blue bed is an intentional choice. And twice yesterday she got up to move to the living room to lay and sleep by the healing river rocks from her Celebration of Life party. Her little brother Legacy misses playing with her. This morning he dropped his tug toys by her and stood over her. That normally initiates play but Ahnung simply let her little brother be near her. He didn’t do his usual yanking on her leg.  It’s as if I could hear her communicate with her little brother …. I’m here. I love you but I need to rest.

My sweet girl this morning

And recently I’ve noticed a new lump. But I’m due for my 6 month check up with my surgeon and MRI in April so I’ve been disregarding it. I know my health journey and Ahnung’s health journey are so interconnected. Ahnung has a powerful way of communicating with me and getting my attention. While she was resting comfortably yesterday it gave me time to pause and reflect. I picked up the phone and called my doctor’s office. Tomorrow I go in to see my doctor to get the lump checked out.

Today she continues to rest comfortably. We feel blessed to have such a community of love and support around us.

I know we are on our final walk. Despite the largest tumor in her lungs growing by almost 50% since the end of December, she shows no symptoms of the cancer metastasizing her lungs. Her breathing is normal. Her latest blood work was normal. Her lymph nodes are normal. She continues to surprise her doctors that she has no symptoms from the cancer … but that’s my miracle girl :) If we can continue to manage the pain from her back arthritis and luxating patella, we will continue to keep walking this final walk and we will continue to explore with child-like curiosity the wonders, mysteries and magic that lies in front of us every moment …

Namaste.

Marilou & Ahnung (aka nung-nung)

Legacy misses playing with his sister

Sleeping by the basket of river rocks

Enjoying every moment!

Ahnung waiting to meet the Leech Lake Legacy transport

I realize that there will be many ups and downs as Ahnung and I walk this Final Walk ... there will many different terrains and landscapes as we move through this journey, with only one constant, our commitment for our hearts and souls to remain connected.

The decision to not move forward with chemotherapy was both a very difficult decision, but also one that came with a tremendous amount of relief. Accepting that Ahnung's cancer has metastasized to her lungs, and that her largest tumor has grown 30% in the past 4 weeks does not mean we are giving up. Choosing not to proceed with chemotherapy does not mean we are giving up. We gave low dose chemo a try for a month ... maybe it helped, maybe it didn't. We are still fighting, but our fight is not against Cancer ... our fight is to keep living, and more than anything to keep living with the highest quality of life and to live with grace, dignity and lots and lots of joy :)

So the past 24 hours have been a wonderful 24 hours ...

Yesterday afternoon Ahnung and her little brother Legacy accompanied me to meet a transport of dogs arriving from Leech Lake Reservation (via the Leech Lake Legacy program) ... in total 19 precious critters arrived on transport. All are safe and warm and are on their way to finding their own forever homes.

This morning Ahnung kicked off her day with her morning playtime with Legacy. Today, they decided to play in the house before taking their play out into the snow ...

Then next .... Ahnung and I were off to run some errands .. first we need to make a stop at the bank to make a deposit at the ATM. I place the checks on the passenger seat, let Ahnung in, and by the time I get around to the driver's seat Ahnung has plopped herself down on the passenger seat, making herself VERY comfortable on top of all the checks. There was no moving her, so mom had to work around a sleeping girl!

 

 

Ahnung sleeps on top of the checks!

Next stop, the car wash! We stop at Mister Car Wash. Ahnung comes inside and we hang out in the waiting room. She is busy greeting everyone and getting lots of compliments and belly rubs. We got a few, 'wow, she's so calm.' Of course, as soon as anyone walks by with popcorn she's gazes over in their direction, maintains that gaze with eagle precision, in hopes they will toss her a a kernel of two, and much to her dismay, no goodies come her way.

Ahnung - car wash waiting area.

Next stop, Woody's Pet Food Deli ... to place an order for 25 lbs of free range, organic whole chicken so that we have a fresh batch ready for her (and yes, all of her siblings) for when we head up north on Friday [Ahnung and Legacy will be heading back to Grand Marais, MN on Friday. We went last December when Legacy was still a puppy so now it's time for the best buds to head back up to Grand Marais!]. Ahnung loved visiting Woody's Pet Food Deli .... I can only imagine all the smells that made her nose twitch. When it was time to leave she had made herself very comfy and I think would've like to have become the resident greeter!

Ahnung anxiously waits for a treat at Woody's

Final stop: Whole Foods to pick up some greens (broccoli and spinach) ... we add steamed greens to their raw food diet. Unfortunately Ahnung had to wait for me in the car as I'm not so sure Whole Foods would've appreciate having my four-legged furry companion come shopping with me at Whole Foods!

Ahnung hopes I bring her surprise when i return from my shopping spree at Whole Foods!

And then we got home, mom fed us a very yummy dinner and she went through some old videos. She found this cute video of me playing with my baby brother Legacy when he was a puppy ... the little squirt taught me how to play but I needed to teach him that my tail is not a chew toy!!

So today was a great day!!! Looking forward to many more awesome days with my precious girl.