Monday, September 6, 2010

A Rebirth

Today I found myself taking a drive to Minnehaha Falls which is about 10 minutes from our house. I can't say that it was where I had initially planned on going ... but something led me there, to the waterfalls, to the sound of raging water ... and the eventual calm as the water flowed downstream. Today I wanted to take photos - i wanted to get out and be in nature, to capture images and to feed my soul. There's something happening inside of me that I can't explain. There's a rumbling in my soul.

It seems like my life has begun a major transformation since I went on the wild dolphin trip to Bimini in July. The astrologer I saw earlier this year told me I had death cards showing up in my chart this year .... she told me I needed to learn to play to save my life, that the cards can't tell the difference between a physical death or a metaphorical death. Since Bimini ... since being touched by wild dolphins ... I feel like a part of me has died; i feel like i'm just getting to know myself. Is it possible to be terrified and courageous at the same time? To be filled with love and joy and also hurt and pain? To be grounded and centered yet feel like my feet aren't touching the ground? Is it possible to crave, ache and long for deep, authentic connections yet feel the urge to run as fast as possible when love arrives at your doorstep?

It didn't matter to me that it was drizzling this afternoon as I stood by the waterfalls watching the water fall 53 feet. I actually welcomed the raindrops. The sound of water falling was soothing to me. Waterfalls are symbolic of rebirths, of a cleansing. To take the plunge, to trust that after the raging waters and the fall that there will be calm ... for me, that's what I needed to see today. So God led me to the waterfalls today so I could witness the beauty of the waterfall and to be reminded of the many different stages and transformations we go through in life.

I walked down the steps to the bottom of the waterfall and focused on this one rock ... centered, stable, grounded ... earlier on I viewed the water at the top of the waterfall as angry and full of rage. As I came to the bottom of the fall and looked up, I noticed my perspective had changed ... what was once angry and rageful was now vibrant, passionate and full of life! Perspective ... what a difference it can make!

I'm on a new path in my journey and there's a part of me that is scared to death. There's also a part of me that has had a glimpse of what heaven and pure joy can feel like ... it began the moment I was touched by a wild dolphin. And the dolphins continue to touch me with their magical energy ---what a gift they gave to me!  And with their magic they have given me the strength and confidence to keeping moving through the fear that once held me back.

I believe I've been given a new lease on life ... but like a caterpillar once held safe in its protective cocoon I must go through some challenging moments as I push through the cocoon to emerge a butterfly.

What is this 
precious love
and laughter

budding in
our hearts?

It is the
glorious sound

of a soul
waking up!

~ Hafiz

I would add to Hafiz' poem that the tears and the deep sadness I also feel in my heart ... that too, is the glorious sound of a soul waking up.

To embrace all emotions

 ... to enter into the "dark night of the soul"with conscious intention and love
  ... to strip my heart of its protective layers and risk loving and losing it all
    .... is an awakening of something much larger than myself.

What is it? Is it soul? Is it spirit? Is it God?

Time to awaken ...
   time to risk ..
     time to let go of all that has held my spirit hostage.

There's a heart beat I feel. Strange that it doesn't feel like my heart anymore. Yet the pulse and the vibrations are getting stronger.

So whose heart is it?
God? The Divine? The Beloved?

As Hafiz says, "it's a soul awakening!"

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