Saturday, May 16, 2009
I have many reasons to be grateful this morning. Most importantly, the results of the pathology report from my biopsy this past Tuesday have come back with no malignancy found on the mass they removed. I haven't spoken directly with my surgeon yet -- just her assistant who didn't want me to go into the weekend worrying! There are "other findings" my doctor wants to discuss with me. I got the sense of "don't worry, but we have to monitor you closely." My guess (speculation on my part till i have the discussion with my doctor which will hopefully be on Monday) is that is has to do with additional tests they ran to see if I had pre-cancer cells. Even if that has come back with a "yes", i'm okay with it. For now ... i'm in the clear and for that I am beyond grateful.
I am reminded this morning of how much I have learned from the animals who have touched my life through the animal rescue work I am doing. Porter (pictured here) was one of many dogs who came into Pet Haven's foster program. He waits patiently, with hope, for the treat he anticipates will come if he sits quietly. Moments later, hope transforms to gratitude.
Dogs live in the present moment. Dogs love, live and play. Every day I am blessed to know that the work we are doing at Pet Haven, and now with the newly formed animal welfare coalition, Minnesota Partnership for Animal Welfare (MnPAW) is not only helping companion animals -- more importantly, are the lessons I am learning. To be honest, one of my fears surrounding the prognosis and outcome of my surgery was that I would be told I had cancer and i would have limited time. In my head I kept saying, "but i've got too much work left to do. We've just gotten the coalition (MnPAW) up and running and have so much more work to do, we've got to ... and so on, and so on!" As the lights went out in the operating room, I surrendered to whatever outcome was meant to be. I think of our dogs ... of Ahnung, Missy and Mister. They don't worry about tomorrow. They simply are. On days when inner peace seems out of reach, I simply stop and notice Ahnung (who is the most peaceful of the lot!) ... most often I catch her sleeping - often she's snoring. Who would've thought that the steady rhythm of her snores would bring me comfort.
Today, even though I know there are no guarantees of how much time we have left, I am grateful for the outcome of the tests. My partner took me to the India Arie concert the night after my surgery. What an incredible, beautiful and spiritual experience that was ... and as she sang "God is real .... earth, air, water, fire -- that's how I know God is real" ... i knew at the moment there was no question in my mind how real God is to me. In surrendering I find peace. I feel the presence of a being much greater than me in all the simple yet magnificent, miraculous occurrences that take place all around me.
This morning, I am off to a Pet Haven dog adoption event to take photos of dogs in our foster program. This simple task reminds me of the presence of God and a responsibility I have to live my life guided by love, compassion, truth, understanding and forgiveness.