Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Papa visits me in my dream ...

I had a dream last night. It was so real. It was the afternoon Papa died. Friday, Dec. 20, 1968. I had just turned 4. It was surreal. I could sense Papa leaving his body. Energy is the only way I can describe it now. The room was filled with amazing, beautiful, light .... radiating energy. I wasn't afraid. I don't think I was in my body either. I was with Papa and I could see the hospital room.We were everywhere. We could see everything. My mother was crying hysterically. I was quietly sitting in the corner. I was wearing a short-sleeved white blouse, red bottoms. We could see everything happening in the room, yet we could also see everything outside. In one instance Papa and i were in the room; in the same moment we saw the St. Louis arch, the magnificent Mississippi River.

My adult logical mind can't make sense of my dream. Surreal. I tell myself to let go of that logical mind. Just Be. Embrace the experience.

I was with Papa. Energy. Light. This sense of being everything and nothing. Observing physical form, bodies in the hospital room below us. No fear. Nothing. Everything.

Then I was back in the hospital room. Panic, crying, screaming was around me .. Mama, doctors, nurses. In my dream, even the 4 year old at that moment felt calm. I wasn't afraid. My Papa was still with me. I just couldn't see him. I just knew.

I woke up feeling so connected with my Papa.

Did my Papa take me with him for a brief moment the afternoon his spirit left his body? Did he want my 4 year old body to know he is still here - for the little girl to not be afraid; that he will always be here; that he will always be watching over me.

I closed my eyes again wanting to fall back asleep. To return to my dreams; to return to Being with my Papa again in the most amazing Way.

I couldn't fall back to sleep. As I got out of bed I thanked my Papa.

Some day we will be together again. Till then, I will feel him with me in every molecule and atom of my Being.

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