"Recognize that your spiritual self is a crucial voice in the whole of your life. Recognize what you believe and begin to comprehend why you believe it. Your spirituality is intrinsic to growth, the process of change, creative expression -- all essential processes of living."
"there is synthesis.
there is silence.
then there are spaces
in between the two.
those spaces require the greatest courage.
for in them we
must learn to listen
There will come a day when I will again dare to step into a relationship. That day won't come until I feel secure enough to know that I am rooted strongly in the earth and in my sense of self to no longer lose myself in the merging of two people in a relationship. I love what one of my healers recently said to me "how do we merge in a relationship without submerging?"
For now, I am grateful for the time I have with myself, my dogs, my friends and with all that lights a fire in my spirit and my soul --- writing, meditation, photography, animal rescue ... and to have a place and a home that has become such a sacred sanctuary for me. I am grateful for the time I have to explore, to discover, to define and re-define, to mold, to create and to step into unknown territory. I am basking in this wide open space around me ... a universe filled with possibilities.
I am learning to listen to a voice that has been stuffed down for decades. "it's a familiar voice." I say. It's been vibrating inside of me, aching to come out. Slowly I learn ... it's my voice and it wants to be heard. Somewhere I was given the gift of courage last year ... by God, maybe my father ... probably both. And as my voice started to emerge I discovered it was no longer okay to remain where I was at. I realized the path I needed to choose was one that would be very difficult and very painful, yet one I needed to do. As one of my healers told me, "You fell in love with you. And you chose You." I smiled, with a tinge of discomfort because I have never felt comfortable choosing me. I have always felt more comfortable giving and choosing others before myself.
"You lean forward not because you know, but because you
want to find out.
You lean forward into your life not because it is safe to do so,
You have found it intolerable to remain still, unmoving from
the same place."
"breathe in the winds of courage
that each day you may discover
in fresh ways what it is to
soar above this sacred earth
and sweetly land in her
arms at dusk."
[quotes from Maryanne Radmacher].