Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Step into the Unknown

Bliss ... swimming with wild, free dolphins!
I listened in its entirety to my taped session with Pat Kaluza from March of 2010. Pat is an astrologer i've been seeing every year for several years now. She told me last year that there was a major Pluto transit ... and in one's lifetime it makes 2 big hits. The first big hit for me was when I was 9 years old. The other major hit was happening in 2010. These Pluto transits symbolize death and rebirth. She asked if anything significant happened to me when I was 9 years old. I replied "the sexual abuse began." She said it marked the death and loss of my courage, of my innocence and of safety. Last year I had 2 death planets showing up in my chart. With all of my health issues my concern was more around the possibility of a physical death. She told me that in astrology, death can be symbolic ... it could mean the death of a way of life  or even the old Marilou. When I left her house last March I already knew something major was happening in my life. There were shifts occurring. I simply had no idea what was yet to come. So 2010, the second major hit of a Pluto transit, was for me a rebirth. 2010 was also one of my most difficult years. Last year I decided I had to choose me. I had to take care of me and allow myself to heal on all levels -- physically, emotionally and spiritually. I had to give voice, space and room for the little girl inside of me who has been stuffed back for decades. I had to walk into Pandora's box and face the demons, re-wire old ways of surviving and coping and let the tears flow for all the losses I have never wanted to acknowledge or feel. I chose the door marked 'Marilou' because for all of my life I have chosen other's needs ahead of mine.

Pat said to me last year "Pluto is called evolutionary journal of the soul. The soul is here for experience. It will take you into very painful experiences so that you can rework what needs to be healed ... you need all this physical suffering for this evolution to happen." She goes on to say "2010 is going to be the biggest wake up call you're going to have ... you are going to learn to say 'No'. Your old life is dying. 'Saying no' is a piece of your healing ... Pluto is in the house of play. Play will save your life." After my session with Pat last March I booked the trip to swim with wild dolphins. I had no idea how that trip was going to change my life. She then tells me back in March that this year (2011) I will be on a brink of a new community. She goes on to tell me that in January 2011 your heart will be very open ... "it's all about learning to receive. ... there's a lot of Venus in your chart and I believe it's about falling in love with you so that someone else can."

I had a wonderful session with Pat yesterday. There's more work for me to do in 2011 but she says I have the courage to go inward and do the work. The death planets are gone in 2011 :) I am on the brink of something new, a lot of creativity and a whole new community. It sounds like each year gets better and she says watch out for 2014 ... it's going to be one hell of a year!! :)

~ Rilke from Book of Images

Whoever you may be: step into the evening.
Step out of the room where everything is known.
Whoever you are,
your house is the last before the far-off.
With your eyes, which are almost too tired
to free themselves from the familiar,
you slowly take one black tree
and set it against the sky: slender, alone.
Ad you have made a world.
It is big
and like a word, still ripening in silence.
And though your mind would fabricate its meaning,
your eyes tenderly let go of what they see.

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