Mama

Last week Mama arrived in San Francisco. My brother flew home to the Philippines to accompany her back to the U.S. She's been wanting to return after being gone for 4 years ... her health has prevented her from returning recently. Last fall I returned with hopes of bringing her back with me. Her doctor did not think she would be able to make the trip back. I returned to the States by myself.

She's back in the U.S. I am truly grateful for that. We had a little bit of a scare last week as she was admitted to the hospital in San Francisco for severe pain in her legs. What was supposed to be a short stay in San Francisco visiting my cousin and her family and to give her a little rest before continuing on to Florida with by brother turned into a 3-4 day stay at the hospital. They could not find the cause for her pain. What they did discover were some concerns with her heart. She has an extremely low heart rate ... in the 30s and 40s. It even dropped to down to 28! And on quite a few occasions when her heart rate was in the low 30s, it "flat lined" causing the nurses to come rushing into her room. For approximately 24 hours she was in such a deep sleep we couldn't wake her up at the hospital. I feared she had slipped into a coma. Prior to falling into a deep sleep she wasn't lucid ... nurses were telling us she was showing advanced stages of dementia. Fortunately when we awoke from her deep sleep, she was back to her usual self. Memory failing but nothing out of the ordinary for someone 83 years old. After she was released from the hospital I showed her the photo of our family ... it was our last family photo before Papa died in 1968. She smiled. Not just a small smile -- but a big smile.

My mom has shared with me how she didn't really want to go on after Papa died. She shared with me just a few days ago how Papa was "perfect". She shared stories about him and how kind, gentle, and patient he was. When she talks about him today there's a glow in her heart and a lightness in her spirit. She tells me, "Your Papa didn't want to die. He didn't want to leave us. He told me he was sorry and to please take care of the kids."

She has done just that and she has loved us with all of her heart....  thank you Mama for all you have done for us and all you have sacrificed for us. Thank you for always loving me, no matter what. Thank you for accepting me as I am. Thank you for always being there for us.