Since April I have been doing everything I possibly can for my girl ... we've been going in for 3 month cancer check ups and full blood work. Our plan is to have chest x-rays every 6 months and after the ultrasound was done over the summer I decided to also add ultrasounds to her plan. I have thanked Ahnung for giving me the signs .... the lumps on her mammary chain and her neck/back have allowed me to physically see the tumor .. to catch the cancer early. Since April I have struggled with the knowing that there is probably cancer in her body and I just can't see it. It's at a cellular level and my way to combat it is to do everything I can to build up her immune system and to create an environment in her body that is not conducive for cancer cells to thrive. We are so grateful to the staff at Lake Harriet Veterinary for the incredible love, compassion and care they have given to Ahnung. She has been on chinese herbs, fish oil and mushroom supplements since April along with following an anti-cancer diet. She also gets to enjoy raw cabbage juice with me :)
|Ahnung after her surgery in April to remove the tumor in her neck/back|
Yesterday late afternoon I got a call from Dr. Cathy. They had sent the chest x-rays out for a second opinion from a radiologist and the results had come back. My heart just sank when the words metastasis to her lungs came out. My entire world came crashing down. So much of the conversation is a blur as much as I tried to listen. We are meeting with Ahnung's oncologist at 2 pm today to go over options. As much as I knew in my gut that this was coming, I am not ready for this. I am not ready to say goodbye to Ahnung. I am not ready to lose a part of me, a part of my soul. Today we are scheduled to visit her friend 'R' in hospice. We have been volunteering as a team in hospice and we have walked the final journey with so many. Today when we go and visit our friend I now know that we are actively begin to walk the final journey, not only with 'R' but also with my sweet Ahnung.
|Ahnung and Legacy ... best friends and soul mates :)|
I pray this morning for the strength to be at peace with wherever my path with Ahnung needs to go. I pray for courage to stand by her and to allow her to walk her final journey with life, joy and playfulness. And I thank my precious girl for bringing Legacy into our lives and for showing me that playful puppy side of her. There is nothing more joyful for me than to watch Ahnung and Legacy play chase and roll around in dirt every morning.
I don't know how much more time I have with Ahnung. What I do know is that I will cherish every moment I have with her. I will hold her and I will love her with every fiber of my being.
Here's a video I created back in April after her Celebration of Life party ...