Micco (Chief) |
I took yesterday off from work (my paying job that is) so I
could spend the day working on MnPAW (Minnesota Partnership Animal Welfare)
work. A gorgeous spring like day in March … this time last year I would never
imagined I would be opening my windows to let a breeze come through … no, not
here in Minnesota. My day began in its usual way, and up until noon everything
seemed to be progressing as planned. Then shortly before noon I got a call from
Jenny, “The pups aren’t doing well. Vicki suspects its parvo. Heidi is going to
be bringing the pups to the clinic at 1:30.” Vicki is my good friend and a
veterinarian who does amazing work for the abandoned, abused and neglected
animals here in Minnesota. On March 10th, 4 beautiful pups arrived
on transport from Leech Lake Reservation – Micco (‘chief’), Masaka (‘strong’),
Muraca (‘white moon’) and Misu (‘rippling brook’). Through our efforts at Leech Lake Legacy (a collaborative
effort to help the animals up at Leech Lake Reservation) we have placed a
majority of animals at the Animal Humane Society (AHS) in Golden Valley. They
arrived piled on top of each other in a kennel. It was Jill, Erica and
Kristen’s (of Pause for Paws) first transport up to Leech Lake Reservation.
They stepped up at the last minute to help us bring down to the cities 4 7 week
old puppies, a 6 month old pup and 2 adult dogs. The 4 pups needed to first spend time at my friend Heidi’s
home for the remainder of the quarantine period for puppies. Heidi has been a
saint for the puppies up at Leech Lake Reservation and taking them into her
home for the required days: a 10 day quarantine to ensure they are healthy and
don’t have parvo.
Micco and Heidi |
So off went Micco, Masaka, Muraca and Misu to Heidi’s home
for a week. Heidi was excited to spend the next week with squiggly, squirmy,
crying, poopy, peeing, barky, fat-bellied pups who would get into everything.
Over the week she kept in touch with us and there were ups and downs through
the week. One day we would think they were okay, then the next, they started having
the dreaded parvo symptoms. We were hoping and praying it wasn’t parvo; we were hoping worms were causing them to have parvo-like symptoms. We have seen a lot of
coccidia up at the Reservation. Dr. Vicki kept in touch with us throughout the
week. They were put on a special bland diet and treated for coccidia. That
seemed to help so we were all once again hopeful. Then yesterday things took a
turn again for the worse .. Micco was not doing well. Her symptoms had gotten
worse. When Heidi described the symptoms to Vicki that’s when we were told what
we feared the most, it’s most likely parvo.
I met Heidi at Vicki’s clinic at 1:30 pm yesterday. We met
Vicki at the back of the clinic. She was wearing yellow scrubs. Parvo is a
disease I have come to despise. It is a highly contagious viral disease and
because the puppies aren’t vaccinated against it they are the ones who are
attacked by this virus. It’s a virus that spreads with a vengeance and won’t go
away. It’s a disease that when it strikes the most innocent and helpless it
rips your heart right out. It’s a disease that yes, some puppies can be treated and
survive it, and 2 pups from Leech Lake Reservation last year were two of the
lucky ones taken in by Act V Rescue and the rescue incurred a $6,000 bill. So
here we were on a Monday afternoon with four puppies showing varying levels of
parvo symptoms. We/Leech Lake Legacy have a couple hundred dollars in our
emergency medical fund. We can’t afford to treat 4 puppies for parvo.
Micco at Vicki's clinic |
Vicki checks Micco out. She has a fever. She doesn’t look
good. All her symptoms point to parvo. She gives her fluids. I look at Micco and
I pray for guidance. What do we do? I look at Heidi … her eyes are red, she’s
holding tears back and my heart just breaks. She shares with us how she tried
to the take the 4 pups out for a walk over the weekend. It was a gorgeous
weekend. She had spent a lot of time out in her backyard with the pups and
decided, let’s try to go for a walk. “I got 10 feet and turned around. They
were playing with each other, and the leash was getting all tangled up.” She
smiles as she remembers that moment.
We call Jenny outside the clinic as we try to figure out
what we are going to do. We all know that we can’t treat these puppies. We
don’t have $2500 to spend on each puppy. For 4 puppies that would be $10,000.
We don’t have a place for them to go. Rescues and shelters won’t take parvo
puppies. They can’t risk exposing other dogs to parvo.
Misu ('rippling brook') |
Jenny asks both Heidi and me, “what do you think we should
do?” We all know we need to let them go. And we all agree that as painful as it
is, we have no other alternative. I’m not going to ask Vicki to euthanize the
puppies. I tell Heidi I’m going to call AHS and see if they can help us out. We
both get in our cars and start driving to AHS in Golden Valley. I call Lynn
(AHS’ vet tech supervisor). I met Lynn 10 months ago when our efforts to help
the animals up at Leech Lake Reservation began and our partnership with AHS was
evolving. Over the 10 months we
have gone through so much … laughed and cried. We have celebrated the joys of
placing so many of these beautiful animals into loving homes; we have cried
when we lost some to parvo.
I call Lynn on my way to AHS. As Lynn picks up her cell
phone I look in my rear view mirror and see Heidi following me. My heart is
breaking, for the pups, but as much for Heidi. I’m crying on the phone with
Lynn as I tell her what’s going and that the puppies have parvo and will she
euthanize them for us. I can feel the warmth and compassion flooding through the phone
line. “I am so sorry. I am so
sorry. Just come here and we will do our best to make what is so difficult a
little less painful.” It’s as if I feel Lynn’s arms around me, around Heidi,
around the pups. I can’t stop myself from crying as I’m driving on highway 100
heading to AHS. Looking back I realize I was not alone through this painful
process. Vicki and Lynn wrapped their arms around us and without saying these
words, had shown through their actions, ‘we are here for you.’
Masaka ('strong') |
Heidi and I pull up to the intake area of AHS. We leave the
pups in their kennel in her car. As I walk into the intake area there are 4 AHS
staff waiting for us. It’s clear Lynn has told them to expect us. Compassion
and understanding fill the room. Moments later, Lynn walks through her door.
I’m doing my best to hold it together, to not break down, to not cry. Lynn
doesn’t say a word, she comes up to me, arms outstretched and she hugs me tightly.
The tears start falling uncontrollably. She holds onto me and squeezes me. The
pain in my heart for Heidi, for the puppies comes pouring out. She continues to
hold me tightly and I feel her taking some of the pain in my heart. I am angry
at the injustice of all of this. I feel helpless and alone and as Lynn holds me
tightly, I realize I am not alone. There’s an entire village of support for the
work we are doing to help the animals up at Leech Lake Reservation.
Heidi and I are with Micco, Masaka, Muraca and Misu as they
cross over the rainbow bridge. As Lynn is holding them, Melissa (the vet tech
at AHS) gently inserts the needle into their tiny vein. Heidi and I stroke each puppy as they
gently fall asleep. In one of the most painful, difficult moments there is love
in that room. Heidi shares memories and stories, “Misu is the sassy one. She was
sassy with her siblings.” As we hold Micco, Masaka and Muraca we tell them when
they are up in heaven it will be their turn to sass Misu. The pups went quietly
and very peacefully.
Muraca ('white moon') |
I couldn’t sleep last night. I kept thinking of Heidi, of
the puppies, of Vicki, of Lynn, of the staff at AHS who showed so much love and
compassion. I woke up this morning and I started crying again. I have come to
truly hate the disease of parvo. This morning I needed to give myself time to
grieve, to cry and to also celebrate
the incredible bonding and relationships that have formed over the past year as
so many people have come together in our shared vision to help as many animals. We celebrate the successes
and happy endings, but we also share the pain of the losses.
Heidi sent me a text last night ‘ … my heart breaks a little
every time an ending like this comes to be a part of the story of any of our
beloved animals. Those little girls are in my heart, and hey they had a good
last week.” And she ended with a reminder to me that we have so many more
animals to help and that they need us to be there for them. We, along with many
others, are heading up to Leech Lake Reservation later this week for the first
collaborative spay/neuter clinic up at the Reservation.
Thank you Heidi for opening up your heart and your home to
Micco, Masaka, Muraca and Misu. You gave them the best week of their lives. And
thank you Vicki for always being there for us and the animals of Leech Lake
Reservation. And Lynn, when my heart was breaking, thank you for being there
and holding my heart together and picking up the pieces and making what was a
very difficult decision, a little less painful, by reminding us … we are all in
this together, and by working together we can not only help so many more
animals but we will be there with love and compassion for each other as well.
Tonight when you look up in the stars, you will see four
bright stars in the night skies … yes, they will be Micco (chief), Masaka
(strong), Muraca (white moon) and Misu (rippling brook).
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