Tuesday, April 21, 2009
The recent death of my good friend Elaine has shaken the ground I walk on. The ripple effects have been far-reaching as tentacles of new perspectives reach deep inside of me and branch outwards ending in questions, more questions, and even more questions. What once seemed clear is now a blur. What I once took for granted, I no longer take for granted.
I am haunted by how I postponed our last two get togethers because I had too much going on in my life. I am haunted by how I never returned her last phone call to me telling myself I would return her call as soon as this event passed, or when I got back from my business trip, and when things slowed down just a little for me. I am haunted by the ever loving, ever gentle, ever understanding voice of Elaine as she said “I miss you and I would like to see you.”
Yes, I am passionate about the work I’m doing with animal rescue, Pet Haven, and starting a coalition. That won’t change. What will change is how it fits into my life and how I balance my life and shift perspective. What will change, is taking time for me, my partner, my family, my animals, my friends.
I stand here, looking upwards at a tree in my backyard, the branches bare as they await spring. Soon leaves will fill the branches. To my right is a dead tree stump. One will come to life. The other will not. I was too busy weeks ago to even notice the difference.
We don’t know when it will be our time to go. What we do know is that we have a choice every moment of our lives. In the pursuit of ideals and the busyness of life, I lost sight of a precious friend. I “assumed” she would be around for years to come. I “assumed” she would always be there.
Death shakes us. Death wakes us up. Death has a painful, honest way of changing the lens from which we see.
I will shift perspective and honor the memory of my beloved friend Elaine who will forever be in my heart.