Gateway into the mystery

Minnehaha Falls, Minnesota (Sept, 2010)

I find myself always asking questions ... trying to make sense of my life, my purpose, the meaning of life, our universe, our relationship with God, the Divine, the Beloved, Buddha ... trying to make sense of what we call life and then coming to face a universal fear of death, the unknown ... yet, I am intrigued, almost consumed, by my desire to find a way to be at peace with the unknown and with the mystery and magnificence of this universe.

I have been reading poetry by a lot of the mystic poets. I found the following on the internet and loved how they explain the message of the mystic poets:

"It has been said, to pursue a purely intellectual understanding of God is like trying to see with your ears. That which is without color or form, unlimited and unfathomable, beyond imagination, without beginning or end, is impossible to conceive with the mind. When it comes to knowing God, the mind is blind and will always be. But there is a way to intuit with the inner self and recognize with the heart. This is the message of the mystic poets, who see the relationship between a seeker and God as the same as between a lover and their Beloved. They emphasize the importance of consistent remembrance, treating all with respect, and a simple faith. Their love of God awakens in the heart a yearning to rise up and touch the ocean of Oneness, to be consumed in the transcendental fire, to die in Love and be reborn anew."

I know who you are, I know who I am

I know the truth and the meaning of love.

God is singing within your heart

breathing inside your breath

more close than a hand within a glove

or a thought within the head.

If you listen, my friend, with an open heart

you will know this declaration's true 

the Truth?  You forgot some time ago

the surprise - the revelation's you

you wrote this poem

yes, you

back then

when your heart was filled with ecstasy

blind drunk on the clear wine of love.

Minnehaha Falls (September, 2010)

Tomorrow morning is my long awaited appointment with my surgeon. I have fortunately been able to find some calm and peace these past couple days with regards to this growing lump in my breast. Tomorrow my partner Mary and I will meet with my surgeon and we will discuss what our options are. 

Tonight as I go to sleep I once again will place my trust in God, the Beloved, the Divine. I don't know what tomorrow will bring. Then again, we all don't know what tomorrow brings. All we truly have is today, this moment. And all I want is to be able to love, to feel love and live each moment as if it is my last.