Legacy ... when the body begins to slow down

 My sweet Legacy is 13 years old. He is slowing down and I am so grateful for the gift of this sweet boy. 13 years ago he arrived in the cities from Leech Lake reservation with 12 other puppies. I was supposed to just foster him and this boy wiggled his way into my heart. He also brought out a playful side of Ahnung I had never seen before. As I walk alongside of Legacy as he begins to show signs of aging and slowing down I embrace moments with him with so much gratitude. On mornings where we are able to get out to the water and watch the sunrise, and where he shows joy and curiosity for all the wonderful smells and critters that are around, it fills my heart. I do notice my mind wandering to a time when he will no longer walk with me to the water, and my heart fills with sadness. I pause and stroke his head, his body and I find myself wanting to memorize every moment and how his fur feels on my hand, the markings on his body ... his beautiful bushy tail. There is a deep pain and heaviness when I think about the time when I will no longer have him with me. I also know that when it is time for him to transition that his beloved Ahnung will be there waiting for him. Anticipatory Grief has been making her presence known and felt within my heart ... I invite her in. She often comes with Ahnung and when she does, I feel a sense of comfort. There is a bond the two of them shared that goes beyond this physical existence. 

Today, I give myself grace to allow whatever feelings need to emerge ... dear sweet Ahnung, please continue to watch over your baby brother.

Sacred Mornings

 For the past few days I have found myself waking up around 4 am. I feel rested as I go to bed early. Spring is here, daylight savings time began a month ago ... the sun is rising much earlier and daylight is longer. Waking up earlier allows me to complete my morning practices of meditation and qigong and still make it out to the water before the sun has emerged from over the horizon ... walking to the water with one of my pups is a part of my sacred morning practices. Walking and listening to the birds, and paying attention to every step I make ... to breathing in and breathing .. listening to my heart .... and this morning was Ishkode's turn for a walk. She loves to smell everything. I am sure she can smell every dog and critter that has been on the trail, and like Legacy ... she insists on marking the area to say "I was here!"

This morning we walked around the lake. We began with the sun just beginning to emerge from over the horizon. And when we got half way across the lake the view from the other side was just as magnificent ... the sky and the water were so blue. Listened to geese honking and a very vocal northern flicker .... and lots of cardinals, downy woodpeckers and chickadees. Bird songs are music to my ears. And then I watched birds gathering nesting material .... soon mama birds will be keeping their eggs warm. I wonder if I will be graced this year with a cardinal nest outside my kitchen window as I have been for several years now.

My mornings are sacred to me. So much medicine and healing from slowing down to listen to my body, my heart, my mind, my spirit ... so much medicine in nature.

I am grateful for my life and for all the beautiful beings in my life. I am grateful for my beloved pups ... Legacy, Ishkode and Migizi. They too are my best medicine.

Morning Musing to My Senior Dog

My sweet boy Legacy turned 12 this year. I walked with him on Saturday morning (12/30/2023) and when I got home I reflected on our morning walk together ...  my morning walks are my sacred and cherished times with each of my pups. Every day I rotate who I walk with ... on Saturday, it was Legacy's turn.

Legacy - Dec. 2023

Morning Musing to My Senior Dog

A time will come when my sunrise walks with you will be a memory, a series of magical moments in my heart
Till then, I memorize the way you look at me
The way you gently tug on the leash
The way you mark every tree, pole, special patch of grass saying “I was here”
The way you look at me with those soulful eyes

I memorize the way your beautiful bushy tail wags in excitement, the unique markings of your shades of brown on your beige body and the heart shaped brown spot on your back leg

I touch your chest. I feel your heart. I sense the vibration of every heart beat. Your heart sweet boy is my heart.

My heart hurts thinking of the day when this moment, this sunrise walk with you will be a memory. And I remind myself to return to this moment. I memorize and inhale every feeling, sensation, of our connection into every cell of my body.

This morning, my friend Anticipatory Grief paid me a visit. And with her came my other friend Presence.

Baby Legacy in 2011