Larissa Minicucci ... a bright new star in the night skies

Posted on November 14, 2019 on my facebook page ...  it is with great sadness and a heavy heart I share that our beloved Larissa has since crossed over into the spirit world on Saturday, November 16, 2019 around 3 pm. For more on this amazing human being please check out her caring bridge site: https://www.caringbridge.org/visit/larissaminicucci/journal/view/id/5dd095bcec1003bf448b45d4

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As many of us prepare for the crossing over into the spirit world of our beloved friend, partner, mentor, teacher I want to share with you a photo taken at the Leech Lake SIRVS clinic in Oct. 2018 with Jonathan Elbaz, current president of SIRVS which shows the spirit of Larissa, the spirit of SIRVS, and the amazing fire and spirit of SIRVS (Student Initiative for Reservation Veterinary Services). I have had the honor of working with many SIRVS presidents over the years, and they have all been amazing (Molly Kubeczko-Schmidt, Rachel Marie, Kristen Capen and this year's president elect, Hilary Hooberman).

I picked Larissa up from home so we could ride together to Leech Lake ... we have many road trips and last year after her diagnosis with cancer we had two road trips (Red Lake and Leech Lake). We had long heartfelt conversations. She told me she wasn't afraid of death - she just wasn't ready. She talked for hours about two of her deepest loves - her work with SIRVS, the students, tribal communities .. and then she talked for hours about her husband Lou.

Yesterday at the hospital I promised her that her work with SIRVS and tribal communities will continue. That I know she will be with us in spirit and that I am counting on her letting us know if we flounder or go astray by sending us a strong message ... she smiled and there was a twinkle in her eyes.

Many of us are grieving deeply already. It's like someone stuck a knife in our hearts. And my heart hurts so deeply for an amazing husband who shared with me, in his own words, how he met Larissa 16 years ago. And there was a twinkle in both their eyes.

She has touched the lives of so many, and she wants us to continue this work. I encourage us all to find a way to talk to this overwhelming, all consuming grief ... I share with you one of my favorite poems. Grief has arrived at our door step. I am going to invite Grief in ... Grief brought me a puppy from the Mille Lacs SIRVS clinic (her name is Migizi, and when I held her i could feel Larissa's presence so strongly and was guided to name her Migizi). I will be adopting Migizi. With Ahnung (means 'star' in ojibwe - spirit dog from Red Lake), Ishkode ('fire' in ojibwe - from Leech Lake) and now Migizi ('eagle in ojibwe - from Mille Lacs) I promised Larissa our collaborative work with tribal communities will continue.

Together, we will keep Larissa's spirit alive. To my friends at Leech Lake and Mille Lacs and White Earth, I ask for your support and know I can count on you ... Shirley Nordrum Sharon Nordrum Veronica Bratvold Winnie Walleye Melissa Yuenger Angela Nordman Gary Wayne Branchaud Li Boyd Mary H. Skelly Tawny Warren

Please continue to hold Larissa in your heart as she prepares her transition into the spirit world ....

Talking to Grief (by Denise Levertov)

Ah, grief, I should not treat you
like a homeless dog
who comes to the back door
for a crust, for a meatless bone.
I should trust you.

I should coax you
into the house and give you
your own corner,
a worn mat to lie on,
your own water dish.

You think I don't know you've been living
under my porch.
You long for your real place to be readied
before winter comes. You need
your name,
your collar and tag. You need
the right to warn off intruders,
to consider
my house your own
and me your person
and yourself
my own dog.

Celebrating 31 years of sobriety, of living!

Yesterday, October 1, 2019 I celebrated 31 years of sobriety. I owe my life to a puppy. A puppy I named Splat (i was playing competitive racquetball at the time, and 'splat' was my favorite shot). I had fallen 'off the wagon'. I was in so much emotional pain and wanted to numb myself from the pain so I started drinking after one previous attempt to get sober. I drank and I drank and I drank. My Papa must have known that the only way to get through to his baby girl was to bring her a puppy, so he led me to this little girl, the runt of the litter. I remember meeting this woman in Chesterfield, Missouri at my mom's house. She was selling her puppies for $100. There were six cocker spaniel puppies. All were running around and rolling over each other, chasing each other, except for this one black cocker spaniel puppy ... she found her way to me and climbed onto my legs as I was seated cross legged on the grass, and curled up and went to sleep. I looked at the woman and said, 'this one. I want this one.' Splat was my first dog. After i had written the check and sent the woman off I thought to myself, what the heck have I done?! I have never had a puppy! I don't know what to do. This little tiny being needs me. I felt this huge responsibility to care for this being. I realized I had to get myself together ... get my life back together. So on October 1, 1988, I walked back in to an AA meeting after 2 years off the wagon. I chose life. I chose Splat. I chose a new path. And something inside me knew that this time around it would be different because i had an angel my Papa sent to me, a furry 4-legged precious being ... and my sweet little princess was my heart. She saved my life. Thanks to her, and my Papa, I am alive today and I am celebrating 31 years of sobriety and life.

I lost my beloved Splat very suddenly (and what I now believe to have been a hate crime) on July 20, 2000, shortly after I moved to Minnesota. I share more about this on a blog post I wrote in 2010 (her 10 year anniversary) ... I also share more about how she (and Ahnung), through my dreams, opened the door for me to begin my healing around the sexual abuse ... from my blog: ".... Interestingly, Splat (whom I named after a racquetball shot as I playing a lot of racquetball at the time) appeared in my dreams a couple summers ago .. in fact, it was a nightmare, but it was her way to tell me I was getting ready to begin a journey of some major healing ... and she was right. For a writing class i'm taking at The Loft I chose to write about the healing and transformation I have gone through in dealing with past sexual abuse. My piece opens with the dream I had where Splat appears in July, 2008. The piece ends with a dream I recently had (July, 2010) where my dog Ahnung appears and she takes my flying!! It was my dog Splat, who's been dead for 10 years, who opened up a door I've sealed shut for decades - the secret of abuse - and it's now my dog Ahnung who is helping me move through it .... I think God knows that the angels I need come in the form of furry four-legged beings :)" ...

Thank you Splat and Ahnung for working together over the decades to help me heal. I know you are both still with me, along with Shen, Shadow, Missy and Mister guiding me along in my life's journey. Together, we celebrate 31 years of sobriety!! 

RIP sweet Missy Bear RIP

We set Missy's spirit free yesterday morning. Grief has come again. She is here to stay. My heart hurts so deeply. I miss you Missy Bear. I miss you. Travel safe ... I find comfort in knowing you are once again with your siblings Ahnung and Mister. Till we meet again, on the other side sweet girl.

My Missy Bear ,,,,

Missy - 2008

Missy Mister Ahnung 2011

Missy and Mister 2017

My beloved Missy (14.5 years old) is approaching the end. Her final walk. She is being watched over and guided by her siblings Ahnung and Mister who are ready to greet her. I am cherishing every moment I have with her. Thank you Missy (Ahnung and Mister) for letting me know it is time to prepare ... my heart hurts ... I find comfort in knowing Ahnung and Mister will be there to greet you when the time comes.