Rituals. Practice. Healing.

Every morning I have a ritual. I wake up and let the pups out, any time between 4:30 and 5:30 most mornings. I step outside into the backyard with them. This morning it was a cool fall morning. It was dark until the light off of my garage lit up sensing my motion. I take deep breaths outside and look up into the skies. I thank God, my Papa, my Ahnung, for another day.

I feed the pups breakfast. I make myself some coffee. While coffee is brewing I lay down on the exercise mat in the front room (now converted into an wellness/workout room) and i measure my HRV (heart rate variability ... the following is a link that shares more info on HRV: http://www.health.com/heart-disease/heart-rate-variability). I have been measuring/tracking my HRV now for about a month and a half. My friend and colleague who is also a personal trainer opened my eyes up to HRV as a way to deepen my health and wellness .. it has been a wonderful tool in my journey to notice more around me and within me, and to notice how my body holds my stories and responds in certain conditioned ways ... (more about HRV and the vagus nerve on a future post!).

After measuring my HRV I enter my meditation/writing room. Typically two of my pups (Mister and Missy) are the ones who follow me into the meditation room ... well, they actually follow me everywhere! I light incense and I situate myself comfortably on my meditation cushion. I sit. I breathe. I notice thoughts fill up my mind. I let them go. I breathe. I notice thoughts. I let them go. I breathe .... over and over. Meditation is as essential and life giving for me as water is.

After meditation, I once again thank God, thank Buddha, thank Papa, Ahnung and all beings for the gift of life and another day.

Then I write. I journal. Some times i sketch and draw in my journal. As Julia Cameron (The Artist's Way) calls them, they are my morning pages. I write for as long as I feel called to do so. Sometimes it is 10 minutes, sometimes an hour, or even two.

And now I have added the following .. I return to the front room. Set aside the exercise mat. Pick up my jo (an aikido practice i learned while in my training in California earlier this month) and after stating my declaration, i practice the first 18 forms of the 31 jo kata movements (some day I will learn the remaining forms!) ...

I then practice ukemi .. the art of falling/surrendering.

Then I make myself breakfast ... scrambled eggs with spinach, mushroom and broccoli ... half an ezekiel muffin with almond butter and a small bowl of strawberries and raspberries.

Ritual. Practice. Prayer.

Meditation. Writing/Journaling. Intention (through jo kata and ukemi). Nourishment.

I go to bed early and I wake up early. That is the rhythm of my body. My early mornings are sacred. They are my water, my air, my fire, my earth. It is a Way I have learned to walk with the guidance of my Ahnung. And it is forever evolving as she teaches me to keep listening and noticing.

Daily practice. Daily ritual. Daily prayer.

What is your daily practice?

Center

 Enso - Zen Circle

This morning I find myself reflecting on the word 'Center'. One of Merriam Webster's definition for center is "a point, area, person, or thing that is most important or pivotal in relation to an indicated activity, interest, or condition ... a source from which something originates". I use the word Center a lot in my life. It has played a large role in my healing and life's journey. Where is my Center? Where is that place from within myself where I am able to ground myself? Is it within myself? Or is it in the spiritual realm? Can we have a spiritual Center and also a physical Center? Can we move between these various Centers as we search for homeostasis and balance in the realm of the Physical, Spiritual, Emotional and Mental?

For as long as I can remember I have always been drawn to circles. There is no beginning and no end. Every point is a beginning, and also an end. We sit facing each other. We are equals. Energy can flow in all directions. The earth is a circle. The sun and the moon is a circle. The planets in a solar system orbit around the sun in a circular manner.

When I think of Center i think of Circles. An infinite point. Vastness. Expansiveness.

I am realizing now my center has shifted throughout my life. I found my Center in different places as I worked to heal childhood traumas. Childhood sexual abuse moved me out of my physical body to survive. I found my Center in the spiritual realm as I struggled to find meaning, place, purpose, belonging, when the physical world, my physical body and humans did not feel safe. I found my Center in the eternal bond with my Papa, and in the angels guided me to .... Ahnung, and other 'angels' who came to me in the form of dogs. I find it interesting that the brightest star, Sirius, is also known as the Dog Star. Ahnung, my spirit dog, continues to be my north star, and she continues to guide me from the spirit world. She continues to be my Center as I explore ways to find a new Center in my physical body; as I explore to return home to my body; as I explore learning a new language of listening to my body as it hold the stories and the narratives of my life.

I am curious and full of wonder as I navigate my Way and my life through new and unchartered territories. This morning, I am curious as to how we all navigate our way through life. Do we look for the stars in our night skies to guide us? Do we listen to the wisdom of our bodies, and to the wisdom of spirits and beings around us? Do we embrace mystery or do we fear mystery? Do we adjust our sails according to the winds? Do we live only in our head and brain, trusting only what makes logical sense and what we can see?

What does it mean to Center? What would a Centering practice look like? And why is Centering so important?